Dictated to my phone January 29, 2016 (but never posted..until now.)
How does one move on after losing the love of your life?
I wake to thoughts of her.
I get lots of advice. "Put one foot in front of the other". I'm not really wanting to go for a walk.
Christine fought Breast Cancer for 7 months once diagnosed, she wanted to stay with us and raise our little 18 month old, but unfortunately we found out too late and God allowed her to be with him.
She's been home with the Lord just over 2 months (4 plus months as of this posting April 10) and I still have a hard time with it, pretty much every day.
I know that we are all here for a short time, even if we live into our later years, and that she is much better off, and this is a blink compared to eternity.. And that we'll all be together again...,. but we were just getting started together. I miss her so much. She was the very best part of my life here on earth.
We married later in life, the first time for both of us, then had a miracle baby when she was 47, and then the cancer.
Every new step in life now comes with the ache that she's not here to share it with us. I look at my son & for a moment feel sad for him that he won't know his mom other than videos, pictures and stories (but I'm thankful for all those)
We watch videos & pictures of her each night before bed (I'm trying to keep his memory of when she was here continuous in his brain - seems to be working). He'll often lean forward and give "her" noggin... Last night, for the first time, he gave a series of quick "blow kisses" from his left hand, to a picture of her on the tablet. He only ever "blows kisses" from his right hand. THAT was very special...
Hearing from others who have been through this helps. Each story brings new perspective. So if you've lost your spouse I'd like to hear any input from you.
I don't need to have my situation fixed or get all kinds of advice. I don't ever need again to hear "sorry for your loss" or " how you holding up?" I didn't lose her, I know where she is... and yes, I'm holding up the world right now, but it's getting easier... I'd just like to hear your story...
Ultimately, I need to share our story to help others not go down this road...
Mammograms are far from perfect, and have been suggested that they cause cancer. Please look into
Thermal Imaging, AKA
Thermography,
or
Ultrasound, but get checked!!!! You've heard of EARLY DETECTION.... It's EXTREMELY important...!!!!!!
Finally, let me ask you, where will you go when you stop breathing? We will ALL stop breathing at the end of our life, where do you go then and what do you base that on?
Jesus said, "
I am the way"
Believe!
Seek Him and you WILL find Him!
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| "Noggin" at the beach. |
